Emotional rollercoaster
Things have just got too much for me this last week. I am struggling to feel my normal "jolly" self. I hate feeling down, but this bout of blues has hit me as though I have run into a brick wall, and I just can't seem to find a way of getting back up from it.If I think about it, the mood change has been triggered off because I have returned to work after being off for a long while and I'm having to learn a new job with lots of new skills. I am trying to do too much too soon, I know this... and because I can't get done what I used to get done before my operation I feel I am a huge failure, even though I am probably doing better than I think I am! :(
I know I can't do full-time work in part-time hours, but yet I still feel that's what I should be doing. When I leave work every afternoon I feel like I am skiving off, instead of thinking I am going home to rest up. And I know that the work is continuing to pile up and I can't seem to get to the middle of it, let alone the bottom of the pile. If I was hearing someone else say all this, I would tell them to stop being so silly and say you can only do what you can do, and to be less hard on themselves.... so why can't I listen to my own advise and do this?!
I am getting myself into such a state trying to do my usual thing of battling through, singlehanded but it's not working....
So, can someone please throw me a float soon, because I feel I am sinking fast! :(
posted by Curly girly @ Tuesday, July 05, 2005
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