Curly Girly!

Happy New Year!!!

Oh my word.... have I really not posted since June 2006... oops, where does the time go?

It's probably partly to do with the fact I had nothing positive to write about, and if I wrote how I felt, you may have like you had "virually" joined me in my deep dark black hole I was existing - not living, noooo, no way was I living I was just going through the motions of seeing one day in and out, they were all with same, no distinction.

In a nutshell, I am up and almost out of my depression, I still have to work on it when I feel myself "slipping" back". For anyone suffering with it, trust me, it will get better. You'll find you will tick along, living moment to moment and then you'll look back and realise that maybe this week you have had more okay days than bad but you didn't notice. That is a good sign, trust me.

I am still having regular check-ups every 3 months for the next year or so, then for the following 2 yrs, every 6 mmonths with my skin specialist for my melignant melanoma (skin cancer) and so far it's looking very positive, so if it does end up coming back we will be ready for it.

I was made redundant from my long standing job in May 2007. The Company decided it would be cheaper to employ outside contractors to do the PA roles instead of having employyes, I was devistated. However, looking back on it now, it was the best thing that could've happened to me. I needed a new start, clean slate, somewhere where people didn't know all the bad stuff that I had gone through, but who would take me at face value and see me, not judge me on what they had heard or assumed. I have been there over 4 months now, and at times it is all too much to cope with, but I have to remind myself that I am doing great considering all I have been through in the last 3 or more years.

Oh *smiles wildly* I did a really wacky thing in November 2007 - I did a Firewalk, walking on 1400 degree hot coals. When I heard it on the local radio, I instantly thought "Oooooh, I want to do that!" so, I did. I can honestly say, I never doubted that I wouldn't complete it, it just wasn't an option in my mind. It was all in the name of Charity, raising over £370 for a local Cancer Hospice.
(The firewalk website is now closed, but I am going to walk on broken glss this year for the same charity, so watch this space for more information.)

2008 is going to be "My year"... I know this because I am going to make it so! Positive thinking and being kinder to myself is my motto. I am working on loving myself inside and out and taking time out for me - this is the hardest thing for me since I always put others before me and try to be liked by everyone.. I get so hurt if people don't like me, instead of thinking "okay, that's your opinion - you win some you lose some!" ;)

So, after sharing with you why very breifly I have been abscent, I hope you will watch out for more postings on here and thank you for swinging by to read about my challenges.

Why not check out my photo's on Flickr
http://www.flickr.com/photos/spiralz/

posted by Curly girly @ Sunday, January 13, 2008